Top 10: Tattoos Guys Should Never Get

We all do things that we regret later on, that is just part of life.  Drinking too much, video taping yourself doing dumb things, spinning donuts in your new truck, hooking up with someone that is not your girlfriend, the list goes on and on.  The thing about doing most idiotic things is that it is not a permanent mistake and you are not reminded of it day after day. 

One foolish thing that a guy might do is getting a tattoo, a permanent tattoo that might not have been the best choice in the long run.  Maybe it was their girlfriends name and then she ended up cheating on him with his best friend, maybe it was of The New Kids on the Block because they were your favorite boys band, whatever the case may be, it is something that is permanently on your body for life. 

Askmen.com has put together the top 10 tattoos guys should never get. To make sure you don’t make the same mistakes that so many guys have, they’ve offered reasonable alternatives for each of the bad tattoos guys should never get.

No.1 Any tattoo on your face

OK, if you’re Maori, but otherwise Mike Tyson is your next role model. Of course, if you’re planning on joining a freak show and have figured out that you can make a living off it, start inking. If you have aspirations of working outside a tattoo shop or carnival, avoid a face tattoo at all costs.

Alternative: Anywhere else

Calf, legs, shoulder blade, shoulder, triceps: The body is a big canvas and you have a lot of choice. Pick any spot you want. Your face has a hard enough time from sports injuries and the odd after-bar lunatic without needing a tattoo.

No.2 Your girlfriend's or wife's name

Never, ever get a tattoo of a girlfriend or wife’s name. Buy flowers, write poems, stencil her name on teddy bears, T-shirts or baseball hats, but for god’s sake, do not get a girlfriend's or wife’s name tattooed on you. Even if you’re a romantic and believe you’re going to be with your girlfriend/wife forever, don’t do it, man. Besides, if your love is eternal, you won’t need a reminder of her name on your body.

Alternative: A daughter or son’s name

You’ve got a much higher guarantee that you’ll care for your children throughout their lives, even after they move away.

No.3 A Chinese symbol

You may have one already, but it seems that everybody has a Chinese symbol tattoo. And when they’re asked, many say it represents peace, strength, compassion or another pseudo-spiritual theme. What’s worse is that most would admit they can’t verify if that’s indeed what their tattoo means. For all they know it could say “kick me.”

Alternative: A symbol of your cultural heritage

So, you’re not from China and can’t lay claim to cool calligraphy. Still, every culture has unique symbols and interesting icons. Do some research to find one that works for yours.

No.4 Barbed wire

Yes, barbed wire works on Pam Anderson and Motley Crue’s Vince Neil did it fair justice in the ‘80s, but this once outsider tattoo is now well-worn in the mainstream, which steals you of any pioneering taste in the matter. If you’re hung up on an armband, there are ways you can create something unique.

Alternative: Text

Similar to our No. 6 suggestion, consider wrapping text around your arm that has some personal meaning. Whether this is your own quote or good advice from your grandfather, roundabout text can look sharp.

No.5 A cartoon figure

You may have grown up with Looney Tunes and you might still watch the shows. As a result it may be tempting to tattoo Bugs, Daffy or Yosemite Sam to pay tribute. But remember this: They’re cartoons and you’re old enough to go to war. Sure, the “Barber of Seville” sketch with the purple-faced tenor is hilarious, but a recreation on your shoulder blade will probably creep out more women than attract them.

Alternative: An original drawing

Come up with your own design. If you can’t draw, ask a friend who can. Originality sticks better and gives you a story to tell.

No.6 A pop-culture reference

You can’t stop saying them or including them in e-mails. So why not tattoo them and make it even funnier. While it may be tempting to have “Give’R,” “Let’s get’r done,” “LFMAO” or “I can has cheeseburger” across your shoulder blades to get laughs from your buddies, remember that you’re committed to it for life. Once the joke fades, you’ll be permanently stuck with an expression from an era you’re about to outgrow.

Alternative: A quote

Are you into sports and want something inspirational tattooed on your skin? Try Wayne Gretzky’s zen saying: ”100% of the shots you don’t take don’t go in.” Would you prefer something more intellectual? Go to J.M. Barrie for “I am not young enough to know everything.” The list of good quotes is endless.

No.7 An iconic face

You think Bob Marley’s god and Al Pacino’s Scarface is cool. You also have a soft spot for Elvis. Why not immortalize your heroes with a tattoo? It sounds reasonable, but beware: Their strong real-life face in photographs can quickly turn into a cartoon on your arm. Now with a botched illustration, you’ve just reduced your hero to a caricature -- for life.

Alternative: A correlating inanimate symbol

Instead of Bob’s face, try some “Redemption Song” lyrics with reggae colors. Stay away from Scarface’s mug and say “hello” to a Scarface movie poster every day instead. Want some Elvis ink? Go subtle with blue suede shoes.

No.8 An anchor

Do you captain a sea-trawling vessel? Live on a battleship? Sail the high seas as a pirate or have forearms bumped out like a python after a meal, a girlfriend named Olive and an addiction to spinach? Then anchor’s away. If you answered “no” to any of the preceding, leave the anchor tattoo to true sailors and start thinking about other options for yourself.

Alternative: A symbol of your actual profession

Think about what you do for a living. If you’re a stock trader, try a bull tattoo. If you work in construction, try sledgehammers crossed over each other. If you’re a lawyer, try lady justice. Are you an IT pro? Try 001010101010101.

No.9 A mythical animal

Consider this prison conversation:
Inmate one: “Hey can you give me some new ink?”
Inmate two: “Yeah, what do you want?”
Inmate one: “Either a unicorn or an oak tree nymph.”
Inmate two: “Definitely oak tree nymph, everyone on the block’s going unicorn.”

Now back to reality. The idea of getting a mythical animal, whether it’s a giant, elf, sprite or Hydra is as outlandish as the myths from which they originate.

Alternative: A real animal

There are plenty of living animals tough enough for a tattoo, but if you’re still hung on myths, go Chinese dragon. Say no to centaur.

No.10 A superhero emblem

Yes, Batman is a badass, Spider-Man is cool and it's awesome that Superman can subdue an intergalactic menace with a flick of his cape. The emblems emblazoned on their chests represent heroic greatness in their stories, but when they’re tattooed on you, they tend to represent your geekiness. Let’s face it, comic books are fun to read, but if you're proudly displaying your loyalty, you may find your only female fans at Comic-Con.

Alternative: A family emblem or crest

A tattoo of a family emblem or crest gives you something real to stand behind, plus it's unique to you. The best part: You can feel proud talking about it with a woman the morning after.

So remember guys, think before you ink!

Source: http://www.askmen.com/top_10/entertainment/top-10-tattoos-guys-should-never-get.html